


The Uranian Key

by swordPrincess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Genderbending, M/M, Past Lives, basically story time with Dirk and Jake, hypothetical past lives, of sorts, there's one M/M past life story and one F/F past life story framed by normal Dirk and Jake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 15:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordPrincess/pseuds/swordPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out camping, Dirk and Jake discuss hypothetical past lives in which they might have met before. In one, a gung-ho adventurer takes along an assistant. In another, a inventor with a secret identity has an unlikely aide. A mysterious artifact connects them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First, I'd like to give props to my super good friend Bem (PrinceOfApart here, rogueofavoid on tumblr), who wrote most of the Jake lines from the camping bits because I stole them from our rp, in which we had a conversation that inspired me to write this in the first place. Love you! 
> 
> Secondly, I'd like to note that the nickname "Di" that comes in the fem bits is pronounced "dee" and not "die". Since that might be confusing otherwise.
> 
> Lastly, this first chapter contains pieces of both past life stories, but from the next chapter on, they will likely switch off, so all the even chapters will be the M/M story and all the odd ones after this first one will be the F/F story. So you could probably technically only read one and it could still be cohesive, if one of those isn't your cup of tea.
> 
> Thanks and I hope you enjoy! (I'd love it if you gave me kudos and/or comments if you do!)

"...Jake, do you believe in past lives?" Dirk asked, idly turning a skewered hot dog over the fire they'd made for their camp.

Jake took his eyes away from his own meat ministrations to land them on the other boy. "I certainly entertain the theory," he answered.

"Me too," Dirk said, gazing back toward the fire before continuing, "I mean, I can't say I really believe it for sure, like it's not something I'd put stock into. But I was thinking about it." He had a look of serious contemplation and a distant expression, as if his thought processes were not really here in this moment.

"Yes?" Jake prompted.

"So I was thinking, if that were true, maybe we've met before. Maybe that's the reason we became friends so fast, because our souls recognized each other or some shit. Maybe we always find each other somehow." The words came out fast, as if he were somewhat embarrassed by them, but compelled to carry on regardless.

Jake smiled. "Always," he echoed back.

Dirk seemed encouraged by this. "So tell me, Jake. If indeed you were some bold adventurer, probably off desecrating tombs before the countries had the wherewithal to make that illegal, who would I have been?"

Jake paused before answering, studying his boyfriend as if there was some clue that could tell him the answer. "...My bookish assistant," he finally came up with.

That was met with Dirk's own somewhat extended silence before he assented, "...That actually strikes me as pretty true."

"You'd probably end up pulling all the strings while I ditzed around," Jake offered, which earned him a chuckle.

"Probably. Or reminding you _not_ to set off that obvious trap, thank you." He checked back on his hot dog while Jake laughed.

"Probably."

-

Dirk adjusted the glasses on his face, attempting to decipher the hieratic before his excitable companion got too impatient to care what it said. As it was, the loud pacing behind his back was not particularly helpful.

"It...it says that if we disturb the tomb here, we'll be cursed," he finally spoke.

The pacing stopped, and Dirk turned to watch the man's reaction. It could be anything from thinking that curses were elaborate nonsense and they could only gain through marching forward, to sudden and unshakable belief in the supernatural which he was sometimes prone to.

"Do you believe in curses, my good man?" Jake surprised him by actually asking his opinion.

"Well, actual tomb curses are far more rare than people seem to believe. Most reports of such come from before hieroglyphs were even deciphered, and were simply misattributed disease or misfortune combined with a superstitious paranoia. But this one does actually have one. It says..." he turned back to the writing to refresh his memory, "that we will invoke the ire of Thoth and contract a disease that no doctor will be able to diagnose." He blinked, realizing his tone got a little doom and dramatic as he read it back off. "Fascinating, really. I wonder what caused someone to actually..." His eyes wound their way back to Jake, who was a bit glazed over. "But uh...no. No, I don't believe in curses," he finally answered the actual question.

Jake seemed to come back into himself and smiled. "Good then. It's all hogwash and we have nothing to worry about!" With a dramatic flare, he then swung a crowbar into position to pry the tomb open.

Dirk covered his mouth and nose with his elbow. Magic curses may be fake as shit, but bacteria that could be sealed in tombs for millennia were very real and it was generally better to be as safe as was possible under their circumstances. After a thought, he covered Jake's with his free hand.

Jake barely even paused to look at him questioningly. He'd pretty much gotten used to that when Dirk did something strange, it was generally for a reason, and it was better to just accept it, rather than sit through a long-winded explanation that prevented him from getting on with things.

Prying the damn thing open took some effort, but he was soon enough rewarded, although his satisfied cheer was stifled by Dirk's hand.

He looked back at the man that he'd held as a near constant companion on his ventures ever since he'd found him in a museum library some years ago. The look was of slight annoyance, and a silent plead.

Dirk considered the situation a moment before replacing his arm with his shirt and Jake was allowed to copy the action to replace Dirk's hand.  
Jake still did not question why his mouth had to be covered up. He simply used his new-found freedom to walk over to a line of pottery figures instead and picked one up. "What are these again?" His voice was still plenty loud through his shirt.

"Canopic jars," Dirk answered automatically.

"Right, right." Jake nodded as if that was totally on the tip of his tongue. "So you've told me before. But what were they for? They kind of remind me of those funny Russian dolls-"

"They were used to house organs of the deceased."

Jake dropped the jar from his hand at the word "organs", and Dirk was forced to jump in quickly to catch it before it smashed on the ground.

"Splendid catch!" Jake exclaimed with genuine amazement.

Dirk set the jar gingerly back where it came from. "You might want to try being just a bit more careful, you absolute oaf."

Jake laughed at the insult, his shirt slipping from his face. Dirk's expression dropped as he noticed and, without have any real time to think, he pressed his own shirt to Jake's mouth, still attached to his own, their lips separated by only the cloth.

Jake's laughter stifled and his eyes attempted to focus on Dirk's features, too close now to really do so properly. He froze and started fiddling with the object that hung around his neck - an odd invention of sorts called the Uranian Key, although he didn't really know what it did. He just hung onto it with the feeling that he would one day find a use for it on one of his adventures. He held onto this belief like a prophecy and kept it on him at all times, even in his sleep.

Dirk pulled himself away slowly, fixing Jake's shirt back over his features. He was slightly red in the cheeks. He looked to a corner in the ancient room. "I swear, if it weren't for me, you'd end up like those skulls we found last month," he said in a exhaled breath, wondering how long he'd been holding it in.

"I love skulls!" Jake announced.

Dirk once again fixed his glasses, slightly knocked askew by their close encounter, and responded, "I know."

-

"Done?" Jake asked, watching Dirk as he examined the food.

"Yeah, I think so," Dirk answered him, pulling a bun out and gripping the roasted wiener off its stick.

"Alright," Jake said as he pulled his own off the fire as well.

"Hmmm," Dirk mused as he played with various condiments.

"Hmm?" Jake repeated back to him, doing a similar treatment to his own food.

"Just thinking about all that," Dirk told him. "It's all somewhat fantastical, but it's interesting."

"What about you?" Jake asked, finishing dressing his dog with their assortment of extras. "What would you have been once?"

"Hmm..." Dirk considered this, pausing with relish in hand. "Maybe an inventor or a philosopher or a teacher. Or something. What do you think?"

"I think an inventor," Jake said, holding the food up, but not biting it yet. "Teacher works well too though, for you."

"It could be both. It's not like that couldn't intersect." Dirk finished his condimenting as he spoke again.

"True."

"Or perhaps at different times."

"Also true."

Dirk looked at his boyfriend's face awhile. "So what would you have been to find me in those times? A student? A rich contractor?"

"Student works, but rich contractor?" Jake questioned him, eyebrows slightly knit.

Dirk shook his head. "Whoever the fuck would have purchased new inventions. Perhaps that was the wrong word."

"Maybe then I'd be your assistant? Your somewhat inept one?" Jake suggested, bringing the food closer to his face.

"An apprentice?" Dirk asked.

"Oh, maybe that."

"Hmm. Yeah." Dirk finally picked the food up to his mouth and took a bite, chewing silently.

Jake opened his mouth to bite his own, finishing half of it before Dirk spoke again.

"We could be anyone," he said. "I don't know that souls would be specific enough to even care about gender."

"And our lives may not be great," Jake commented. "Although, I like the idea that in each life we look the same or at least very similar."

"I doubt that, as looks are biological," Dirk pointed out. "But this isn't exactly a concrete theory we are dealing with here anyway."

"Certainly not," Jake giggled a tiny bit. "But the idea is interesting anyway."

"Your way of thinking is cute and simple. That a soul would have a vessel and it could be something you would recognize," Dirk said, taking another small bite before continuing. "I guess I think more abstractly. My essence could potentially fill any number of vessels." He watched Jake consider this for a moment before adding, "But this is all very speculative in the first place."

"It is a bit fantastical after all," Jake said and then bit into his hot dog again, taking half of what remained all at once.

"Yeah, but interesting," Dirk said back, taking his own, smaller bite.

Jake swallowed in a big gulp so he could speak. "Indeed."

-

A young woman knocked on the door-frame before entering the workroom. "Di, I have your tea ready," she announced and the person bent over the drafting table looked up smiling a rare smile, and beckoned the girl over.

She went to the table, somewhere between a skip and a run, and looked at the papers that had been sketched out. It looked something like an elaborate key, except with clockwork mechanisms and some other things she didn't quite understand.

"This looks amazing. Who is it for? What does it do?" she questioned.

"No one," came the response. "And as for what it d-"

The bell to the shop rang, cutting the woman called Di off short. "Fuck, I'm not prepared for company," she cursed and looked down at her boobs.

"I'll get it!" her assistant answered, and then smiled teasingly at her. "It's a good thing I kept my skirts on today, huh, Di?"

Di waved her off. "Yeah, yeah, just go answer it already."

The bell rang again, impatiently. The young woman rushed off, gathering her skirts a bit in her hands so she wouldn't trip over them. Di always said they were nothing but a nuisance in the shop and the girl often found herself stripped down to her bloomers. Di always wore men's trousers when she worked.

"And tell them I'm not in!" Di yelled to her as the bell rang yet again and she finally reached her destination.

She opened the door, labelled "D. Kirk", to find a finely suited man leaning on an umbrella like a cane. It had stopped raining some time ago, but a few drops still fell from roof over the stoop.

He entered when she stepped aside for him silently, eyeing her up and down somewhat unkindly. "Good day," he spoke slowly and with ridicule, "I've come to see the master of the shop. Do you speak English?"

The girl frowned at him. "My name is Jacqueline Keyes, and I was born here good sir," she pronounced perfectly and deliberately.

It took a moment for the name to register. "Ah, right. Your father was that explorer that took a wife from the orient. I'd forgotten." He took on a smile that she did not like the look of in the slightest. "If you ask me, they're only good for whores."

Jacqueline's teeth ground together in anger but she kept silent, partially in that she wasn't entirely certain that what would come out would be words.

"But you've gotten yourself in quite the position here, surprisingly," the unsavory man continued. "Is Master Kirk in?"

"No," she answered, finding the simple word easier than an explanation. She found it made her jaw loosen up enough to talk. "And I take my apprenticeship very seriously."

"Apprentice?" the man practically laughed at her. "I'd heard you were courting. Did I hear wrong?"

"Well, we-"

He didn't let her finish. "Perhaps you take on...other appointments?" He took her hand and she snatched it away so fast she scratched him.

He seethed and held into his newly bleeding hand with his other. "You bitch!" He hollered.

A loud sound came from the back room, causing Jacqueline to turn. "Di?!"

"I thought you said he wasn't in?"

Before she could attempt to explain, Di appeared, somewhat disheveled, and wearing a jacket. It seemed she had hastily bound herself over her shirt. She spoke so low she practically growled, "I'm here. What do you want?"

"I'm sorry," the man addressed her with a bit of trepidation in his voice. "I merely was asking some questions of your woman, and she attacked me."

"I'm sure," Di said with as much insincerity as she could muster. "So what I wonder is, what could you have possibly done to _my fiancée_ to provoke such a reaction?"

"Oh- I'm- I'm sorry, I- I didn't- I didn't know-" the man sputtered. "I was- I was just here to make an appointment for-"

"I'm not accepting any appointments," Di told him with veiled rage.

"Ah, well. My apologies." His hand flew to the door handle. "You know...while I'm here, I did hear that your sister, Dina, was still unmarried-"

"She's not interested. Get out."

"Well, how do you kno-"

"We're twins, we have a fucking psychic connection. Get out! Get the fuck out!" Di screamed at him, making even Jacqueline jump.

The man pretty much ran out the door, tripping over the stoop and cursing as he landed on his hand. Di watched the door click shut and then walked over to it quietly and locked it. Then she turned back to the other girl and walked toward her, taking her hands in her own. "You alright, Jakey?" she asked, in a much lighter, concerned voice.

"I'm fine, Dina, he didn't get to do anything," the girl assured. "But still.... That boorish cur!"

"Yes, that's exactly the phrase I would use to describe someone that called you a whore and tried to fucking touch you and...UGH." She started out evenly, but quickly lost control of her tone. "It was just so uncivilized of him," she finished in a snap.

"It was!" Jacqueline agreed wholeheartedly, the hidden meaning somewhat lost to her.

Dina's arms curled around her protectively. Jacqueline smiled a bit at this, petting Dina's hair.

Di looked up again. "You said there was tea?"

"Ah, yes!" Jacqueline separated herself and led the way back into their little kitchenette. "Tea, and good news from my parents!"

Dina would smile again soon enough. Jacqueline would see to it.

-

Dirk polished off the last of his hot dog, licking his fingers, then grabbed a bag of chips. "You want some?" he offered.

"Sure."

Dirk opened it up to share and Jake thanked him. As they ate, Dirk lapsed into silence again.

"You're still thinking about it," Jake guessed correctly.

Dirk nodded.

"What about?" Jake asked, taking another group of chips from the bag.

"Ah, just silly ideas about specifics," Dirk told him somewhat dismissively.

"Oh?"

"Just like, things we might say or do in those sort of realities," Dirk explained, taking some more for himself.

"Ah." Jake nodded at this, but couldn't contain his curiosity. "What have you conjured up?"

Dirk paused with a chip half-way to his mouth. "Conjured?"

Jake raised his eyebrows. "...Yes?"

"What do you mean by that? What did I come up with?" Dirk asked, then he raised the chip the rest of the way to his lips and ate it.

"Yes, if anything," Jake said casually and tossed a few of the snacks into his own mouth.

Dirk swallowed. "Well, I'd love to share it with you, but..." He paused, thinking, before continuing, "It's sort of like writing a story? It's all kind of...loose bits and pieces. I was kind of just entertaining myself."

"Ah, alright," Jake let it go, despite maybe being a bit disappointed. "No worries!"

"I'd really love to, believe me."

"No, I know," Jake assured him. "It's alright, love."

Dirk just made a slight noise of assent and closed the chip bag, leaning into Jake once he'd put it aside.

His boyfriend wrapped his arm around him and they both tilted their heads to meet against each other in silent comfort.

"Maybe another time," Dirk said quietly enough to only barely be heard.

Jake smiled and held him closer. "I'd love that," he whispered back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is dedicated to the inspirational push of sorts I received from someone in the DirkJake tag last week.
> 
> It might have come sooner, but Thanksgiving weekend was very busy for me. I work retail.

"So..." Jake started after their fishing lines had been cast and all they had to do for the moment was wait. "How would we have met?"

Dirk side-glanced him out the bit of brightness that shone through the space between his shades and his face. "Huh?"

"In those past life scenarios from the other day," Jake clarified. "And don't tell me that you haven't thought about it, because I shan't believe you."

Dirk paused a reasonably long moment in consideration. It was true, after all. He had thought of it pretty much all night and all morning, for what it was worth. "...Fine," he admitted. "But which one?"

"Well both, eventually," Jake said, sounding satisfied already. "But you can start with the adventurer one."

"Of course you'd say that." Dirk paused and turned to study his companion a moment before beginning his tale. "It would go like this:"

-

"...Which translates that you should take the mountain path and definitely not the caves," the museum curator was saying. Jake always found the man a bit stuffy, but when you needed information, you needed information. He was about to thank the older man when a quiet voice came over to him from a corner table.

"...That's wrong."

Jake craned his neck to see the direction that the voice came from. It was a small table covered in books and seated at it was a single young man who had just looked up from squinting at his reading material.

"Hm?" Jake blinked at him in surprise and curiosity. "What was that?"

The voice came stronger this time. "That's wrong," he repeated. "It should be translated that you absolutely shouldn't take the mountain pass, but take the caves instead. That language puts the negative article after the subject, not before. And it makes sense, because the mountain is treacherous." His eyes turned sharply to the curator. "You're going to get him killed."

The older man's face reddened in anger. Jake gave no indication of noticing when he turned back to face him. "Does he work for you?" he asked obliviously.

"Of course he doesn't," the curator responded with barely contained wrath, "look at him."

Jake looked back as instructed, but found nothing he perceived to be out of the ordinary.

The curator grunted distastefully and turned fully to examine the interrupter himself. "He's from that group of travelling...entertainers." He said the last word with every bit of bile one might use to say something exceptionally nasty.

Jake rose an eyebrow, eyes still glued to the stranger. "Is that true?" he asked.

The man's eyes darted sideways and then back before answering somewhat hesitantly. "...Yes."

Jake's eyes lit up like a child that had been presented with a myriad of expensive treats. "By jove, that's amazing!" He shot over, only barely managing not to trip over one of the curator's feet and grasped the man's hand in a firm shake. "What do you do, exactly?"

"Well..." the man paused a moment, thinking over the various entertainments and other attractions that passed for entertainments, but decided to stick with his specialty. "I'm in charge of the marionettes."

Jake nodded vigourously. "I'm Jake, by the by. World Adventurer. Or...soon to be," he introduced himself. "And what would your name be, Manipulator?"

"...Dirk."

"And you are good at languages or just this one?" Jake waved his paper to indicate what had just been translated for him.

Dirk spoke slowly, flicking his eyes up and down the excitable man before him. "I'm well versed in several languages, including a couple dead ones. As well as history, mathematics and engineering."

Jake's eyes opened wide and then his grin expanded to as near the size of his face as was humanly possible. "Why!" he exclaimed. "That seems to be the exact knowledge that I could very well use! I'd really friggin love such a man for adventure companion, if you'd have an inkling of interest, and if I haven't scared you off." He laughed at the last notion, quite oblivious to the full imposing nature of his energy.

Before Dirk had a chance to process this invitation, let alone answer, the curator seemed to have gotten over his momentary shock and flared back to anger, coming over to the table. "And you are just going to believe him?" he said in that sort of voice that was both a whisper and a shout at the same time. He put his hand out stiffly toward the books scattered over the tabletop. "This man can barely read. I've seen how long it takes him to read a page and how hard he needs to concentrate on it. His lies would be amusing if they weren't so potentially harmful."

Dirk stood up suddenly from his seat, palms down on the table. "I'm not lying," he said quietly but menacingly. His fingers curled up, like an attempt to grip the smooth surface. "And I know how to read just fine. Just..." His teeth clenched together.

"It's quite alright, now." Jake put his hand on Dirk's shoulder in reassurance. "There's no need to explain. I believe you.

Dirk eyed him suspiciously. "But you only just met me."

"Yes, well," Jake gave him a somewhat mystifying wink, "where will not believing you get me anyway? Down the mountain path that you say could kill me?" He tilted his head slightly with the inquiry and raised both of his eyebrows. A moment of silence enveloped them before another thought occurred to Jake and he put his hand to his chin. "...But then, it's the opposite according to the good curator...I can't believe both of you, can I?"

Dirk's whole face fell and there was a moment when he realized that for once he felt responsible for another man's life. "Well, if I come with you, as you offered I do anyway, it would prove it," he found himself saying, being somewhat uncharacteristically rash. "I wouldn't risk my own life if I wasn't sure I was correct, right?"

Jake turned back to the curator after a nod. "Would you do the same, my good man?" he asked, perfectly reasonably.

A frown and a "hmph" was all he received in response, so Jake returned his smile to Dirk with a finger raised and a conspiratorial wink of an eye. "Now, I think we shall take our leave now, and spare the old coot some embarrassment." Perhaps he had meant to whisper it, or perhaps that wasn't even possible with Jake.

One corner of Dirk's mouth managed to raise itself in amusement. "Are you sure? It might prove to be entertaining, and I haven't returned my books to their stacks. That would make me a terrible patron."

"I think he can forgive that, in light of the situation." Jake stepped backward out of Dirk's personal space and then held his hand out in front of him. "So, what say you?"

Dirk took it without actually saying a word and Jake led him swiftly out of the museum library and into the open air.

"Now," Jake announced to his new-found companion with an air of satisfaction. "Perhaps with the money we can earn from my current venture, we can purchase you a decent pair of spectacles. That will make things easier for you now, won't it?"

Dirk looked at him in surprise. He hadn't expected such a seemingly brash and dense man to pick up on a subtlety missed entirely by the curator without even the explanation. His heart leapt in that moment, but he couldn't yet fathom why.

Jake looked back at him and his confident smile turned downward. "Am I wrong?"

Dirk shook his head. "You aren't wrong." He swallowed. "But I...have responsibilities, you know."

Jake stopped short and thought on this. "Right. You must think of your travelling companions as family. Or perhaps they even are.... I couldn't possibly expect you to choose me over them. But...you did offer yourself for the one, so we can still take care of your problem afterward and...if you want to return, I wouldn't blame you." His tone betrayed him, however. He sounded like a hurt puppy.

"You're right. I won't go back on my word. And...I'll think about it." Dirk sighed quietly.

He wondered what he was getting himself into.

-

"So then what?" Jake asked, so rapt that he almost missed the tug on his line. "Fucking cripes!"

Dirk turned turned sharply at the exclamation, and was about to offer assistance, but then Jake seemed to get it under control.

Once the catch had been reeled in, (and subsequently tossed back for being to small), Jake calmed himself from the excitement and thought back to before the interruption. "Now, as you were saying?"

"I wasn't saying anything," Dirk told him. "I was finished, and then you asked for a continuation. I haven't really thought of it yet. Other than...obviously, I'd have had to send a message back to the troupe to tell them I'd be gone awhile and where to meet back with them."

"But you aren't actually going to go back, right?" Jake asked, in an almost hurt way.

"Well, no, but I...him...that me wouldn't have decided at that point yet."

"Oh." Jake paused and then continued in his friendly manner, "Good then."

Dirk chuckled.

"How long shall I have to wait until you have more?" Jake asked, in a manner he didn't think sounded too pushy.

"Not sure. But you did want to know the other one, too, right?" he asked. "I can tell you the start of that sooner, if you want."

"Oh!" Jake said as if it had completely slipped his mind from the telling of the first, and it probably had. "Yes! That would be swell."

Dirk glanced to the water and then back. "...Why don't we just wait until we are back at camp so we don't have any more near-misses. That alright?"

"Well, you've certainly gotten me anxious now about catching something acceptable and heading on back, but..." he set his jaw "...I can manage."

At that, Dirk granted a smile that Jake's determined eye beam to the water didn't have the luck to catch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't think you'd hear from this story again because of how long it was, you were WRONG. But really, I'm so sorry. This is actually my first bit of completed writing in months. I hope it's acceptable, but my dear beta wanted more out of greed, so I guess that's a good sign?
> 
> This chapter is for the fems - there will be more of the adventure duo next time.

"So, did you want to hear about the other one now?" Dirk asked as they set about preparing the fruits of their fishing labor to be eaten, knife in hand.

"Oh!" Jake paused with an expression of sudden realization, and his eagerness returned post-haste. "Yes! Definitely! So what was this one about again? You are an inventor? Or a teacher?"

"An inventor," Dirk clarified, "and you are my apprentice...of sorts. It doesn't start that way."

"Well then, how does it start?" Jake asked, completely stopping all tasking and sitting on one of their makeshift log benches.

Dirk decided to stop as well, putting their fish back in the cooler for the moment. "It starts with a letter." He then went to grab them both drinks and sat down next to Jake, handing one over.

When Jake said nothing more than a polite word of thanks, Dirk continued. "A letter to a nobleman of...controversial social standing about his daughter."

Jake's eyebrows knit together, trying to place this story together, and failing at grasping an answer as to what any of this had to do with an inventor and apprentice. "Wait, I'm confused, what-"

"You'd be the daughter. We are both girls in this, actually."

"Oh," Jake said shortly, then looked curiously at Dirk. "I remember you saying something about different gender the other day, but I guess I never thought you'd follow through with that."

Dirk took a drink and side-glanced him through the space at the edge of his shades. "This is no way undermines my masculinity in this lifetime."

"Or mine, right?"

Dirk turned his head to look at Jake this time. "Right. So basically:"

-

Jacqueline Keyes found herself at the door of a "D. Kirk", waiting for her father's knock to be answered. She liked to think that she had come here quite unwillingly - why would she want to meet a man so far below her station that had so brashly asked to court her in a letter to her father when she didn't even know him? - but in truth, she hadn't raised a single complaint. Her father assured her many times that she needn't court anyone she didn't want to, and that she was a pretty young lady that could surely gain the attention of any young Lord she wished - no matter what their mothers had to say. And now he turned to her once again, but whether it was to complain about the wait or assure her some more or merely to fill the silence she never found out, because the door was opened before he got a word out.

"Good day, sorry to keep you waiting," a lady's voice chimed as it opened, and the sight of the voice's owner made Jacqueline's stomach churn oddly. The woman was everything the girls at finishing school aspired to be and Jacqueline herself utterly failed at, by both talent and design. Her hair was done up nicely with her face framed by perfect ringlets, her face itself the very picture of high class European beauty, her posture that of a lady Jacqueline would bet could hold that damned book on her head for hours instead of merely a few precarious seconds.

With a lady like this in his office, what want would Master Kirk have of Jacqueline? Other than to laugh at, she supposed.

Her father frowned, an expression she did not see commonly on his face, and stepped forward. "Count Frederick Keyes, and my daughter, Jacqueline," he introduced. "Here to see Master Kirk."

The lady made a curtsy. "Dina Kirk." A smile played across her face, as if she were aware of their incorrect assumptions and made delight at proving them wrong. "My brother is not in at the moment."

"Oh, I see." The frown had lifted from Jacqueline's father's face, but it still had not been replaced by a smile, he pulled a chained watch out of his pocket.

"I'm sure you are a very busy man," Dina surmised from the motion. "Perhaps I could play chaperone while you go about your business? I can promise I will let nothing untoward happen."

He looked Dina over with a sharp eye before replying, "Very well. That's probably for the best unless you know that he shall be returning very shortly?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

"Very well." He snapped the watch back into his pocket. "Jacqueline - I'll send a coach for you at five." His expression softened before saying one last thing to her, "Please do remember what I said, it is no less true."

"Yes, father."

Jacqueline sighed as the door closed, leaving her alone with Master Kirk's beautiful sister. She turned toward her only to find her removing hairpins as if they were hot coals, a flurry of them landing on the floor. She finished by removing her hairstyle completely - it had been a wig - and holding it on one hand while she reached for an interior door with the other.

"Come, follow me," she commanded, her tone extremely different from the one she'd used with Jacqueline's father. She entered the now open door, and then after a moment leaned back out, looking at Jacqueline still stock still in the place she'd left her. "I haven't got all day," she added, then disappeared again.

Jacqueline followed in a huff - a mix of being entirely confused at the situation, and fury at being given orders.

"Excuse me-" she started, passing by the wig, which was now on a stand, and approaching Dina, who had started untying her bodice.

Dina payed her barely any mind, so she repeated, louder, "I said, excuse me!"

Dina's eyes caught Jacqueline's, but they didn't look even in the least bit sorry. "I don't suppose you'd mind helping me with the corset? I hate these damn things."

Jacqueline's mouth fell agape for several seconds before a sputtering recovery to some sort of sense, "B-b-but what of your brother coming? Surely this is-"

The question was answered first only by a laugh from the other girl, then an "I'm terribly sorry," although Jacqueline thought that what Dina might be sorry about wasn't nearly the amount that she should be sorry. Another short laugh was finally followed by an answer, of sorts, "My brother is in Spain. The chance that he will be coming is so low, I can reasonably claim it to be zero."

"But-"

"I sent the letter," Dina answered before the question was even asked. "I run this operation - not my brother, the lazy ass. And I'm in need of an assistant. A man would be easy to get, but then I'd have to play dress-up all day, and while men's clothes are fine, I do abhor binding for an extended period of time." Jacqueline watched her with a mix of awe, confusion, and leftover fury as Dina spoke and continued to undress herself, dropping skirts to the ground. "A woman is preferred, but well, I can't ask for one officially, can I?"

She turned to Jacqueline again, in her underclothes and corset still gripping her chest tightly. Jacqueline just stared. "If you are going to stare, could you at least help me out of it? It would be much appreciated."

Jacqueline made her way over without further word and started undoing the ties, rather roughly in her annoyance. "What makes you think I'm any less likely to tell on you than a man? You aren't exactly endearing yourself to me, you know."

"There's nothing I could offer a man for his silence," Dina stated simply, then added, "nothing I'd be willing to give, at least."

"And you think there's something you can offer me?"

"I can pay you."

Jacqueline burst out laughing, pulling the last bit of ribbon free and stepping aside. "You know I am the daughter of a Count, and yet you offer me coin? Besides, you could offer a man just the same."

Dina pulled the loose corset off and started covering herself with a man's shirt in silence. When she spoke again, it was quiet and with a deadly sincerity, "A man has many ways of getting money, and it will be his, and no one will question him." She looked Jacqueline squarely in her eyes. "A woman belongs to her father until she marries and belongs to her husband, and never has anything to call her own except that which is granted to her. As long as you are within these walls, you shall belong to no one but yourself. I offer you independence."

"Independence through you ordering me around?" Jacqueline scoffed, although inwardly she was more than a little intrigued by the notion.

"I can be..." Dina sighed a bit, "...nicer. You can leave at any time and tell your father that Master Kirk is a scoundrel if you dislike me so. Now, what do you think?"

Jacqueline paused. "Can I think about it?"

"Absolutely." Dina smiled and beckoned toward another room that turned out to be a small kitchen area. "I can make tea."

-

Jake's stomach grumbled loud enough for Dirk to hear.

"Maybe I shouldn't have stopped working on the fish," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's fine, I'll be fine," Jake assured, "you can continue the story, even."

The roll of Dirk's eyes was lost behind his shades. "That's enough for now. I think it's pretty obvious she accepts, and we should eat something soon."

"Oh, FINE!" Jake exclaimed, assenting. "But when you have more to tell, please start straight away! Now I'm hooked on both, this is incredibly unfair."

Dirk laughed. "What am I now, your replacement television?"

"For the duration of this trip, perhaps you are," Jake joked and winked at him.

Dirk shook his head. "I should make you wait longer just for that," he said while he opened the cooler back up.

"Noooooo!"


End file.
